Have you hugged your pastor’s wife lately?

I’ve been a pastor’s wife in one shape or form for nearly 10 years. Certainly not long enough to be an expert by any means. In that time I’ve been married to a youth pastor, worship pastor, college & career pastor, senior pastor, and most recently a campus pastor. Same man… just to set the record straight…whoa.

Many of my friends are also pastor’s wives, which sort of makes me wonder why we’ve never been approached for a new reality spinoff, “The Real Pastor’s Wives of the Protestant church”…probably not enough scandal for prime time but I could see it getting a decent day-time rating. “This week on RPWPC, Jenn worries she wont get all the baking done in time for community group, while Sara teaches her adorable homeschool children how to churn their own butter, and Shaena’s 3 year old gets kicked out of Christian school.”


Since the networks don’t seem interested in airing the reality of being a pastor’s wife can I just tell you one thing I’ve learned about your pastor’s wife? Sure, I’ve learned other things, but this one is super important.



Your senior pastor’s wife probably needs 2.

Her job, if you want to call it that, is sort of hard.

1. She has to be nice all the time. I get that this is easier for some than it is for me, but have you ever tried being nice ALL the time? Of course no one really expects her to be nice all the time, she isn’t Jesus, but believe me she’s going to hear about when she is not. If your pastor’s wife is just the sweetest woman you’ve ever met, go give her a hug! She ain’t being fake, God is showing Himself strong on her behalf!

2. She has to share her husband. Um hello! Your pastor’s wife married your pastor because she thought he was even more awesome than you do! And now she willingly & sacrificially shares his time and talents with you. And she is happy to do it! In fact, she is super blessed knowing that her husband is a blessing to you! If you are blessed by your pastor’s ministry, go give his wife a hug!

Let each of you look not only to his own interest, but also to the interest of others. Phil 2:4

3. Some people expect more out of her than Jesus does. God is satisfied with her rockin’ heart that loves Him and the church…it’s not always enough for the rest of the congregation (1 Sam 16:7). And she has to filter through their expectations too. If your pastor’s wife is confidently committed to pleasing God and doing what he has called her to do, even when it means she wont please man (Gal 1:10), go give her a hug.

4. Hugs are free. Encouragement will cost you nothing to give and just might be the most valuable thing you possess! Give it away! Give it all. Give it radically. Give it to people you aren’t even sure need it, like your pastors wife! Go on, write her a note, shoot her a text, GIVE HER A HUG! Tell her all the things she’s told you. Remind her how God is using her to change your church, your city, and your home. Tell her you’re behind her and you support her in whatever God calls her to do. Cheer her on when she is blessed and don’t judge her when you realize she is real woman who needs Jesus too. Tell her you are thankful she is willing to stand at the front lines alongside her husband and let the darts fall where they will. Let her know how much you appreciate her.

“God is patient with leaders. You ought to be as well.” Pastor Skip Heitzig

My pastor’s wife Lenya Heitzig is a rockstar of a woman. Lenya, consider yourself hugged! Thanks for all you do to serve Calvary Albuquerque. For the sacrifices you are sure to have made throughout your many years of ministry. And for the love and encouragement you give. Thank you for your faithfulness to the word of God and your eagerness to teach the treasures you’ve uncovered!

Let the elders that rule well be counted worthy of double honor, especially they who labor in word and doctrine. 1 Tim 5:17

(Btw- Lenya leads an awesome ministry called She ministries. You’ll want to click that link because you are just in time to register for an incredible Bible study in 1 John held online or live at Calvary Abq . It starts next Tues Sept 10, so register today. Yay!!)

Well there you have it ladies, I challenge you all to hug your pastor’s wife this week. See if she doesn’t shine just a little brighter next Sunday.

Warning: encouragement is contagious. Start giving it freely and you just might change the world friends!



What are some things you love about your pastor’s wife? Leave a hug here!

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