Don’t Ask. Don’t Tell.


“God is light; in Him there is no darkness at all.”

I’ve been a coward.

My college friends and I would often ask each other questions like, “how’s your walk”, or “what’s God teaching you”. I guess it was a little awkward, but it was a way for us to hold each other accountable and to walk in close community with each other and with the Lord.

I don’t really ask questions like that anymore.

It’s not you, it’s me… but it’s really you too.

I guess because once my grown-up pants started to fit, I realized people are super screwed up. And what’s more, I realized that sometimes I’m kind of screwed up too. And the more screwed up I found people were, the more screwed up I realized I was.

And. It. Freaked. Me. Out.

So I answered a cowards call and just stopped asking. And once there’s an unspoken agreement that no one will ask, no one had to tell. And it was easy.

But it was wrong.

If no one asks, and no one tells, we just stay screwed up & that is a tragedy! Because Jesus Christ came to set us free!

And I wish I could tell you each in person, but honestly words don’t always flow as easy to my lips as they do to my fingertips. So I’m writing it down. I hope it encourages bravery in you; and inspires you to ask and to tell as often and freely as you have opportunity. And to walk in the freedom that God’s light brings.

Dear friends,

I know we had an agreement that I would never ask about your sin and I would never tell you that you are not alone.

Don’t ask. Don’t tell.

But I was wrong.

I should have asked.

More than that, I should have come alongside you. Because I knew how screwed up you were, but I was afraid. I was afraid because,  if I asked I’d also have to acknowledge that I was screwed up too. And that was something I wasn’t ready to do.

Don’t ask. Don’t tell.

Instead the broken just stayed broken and the wounded just bled out. And we called ourselves survivors but we were cowards.

Don’t ask. Don’t tell.

But I should have asked. And I should have told you that you were not alone; that we all screw up sometimes. And just because the wickedness in our hearts manifest itself in different ways doesn’t mean I can’t relate. Because at the root of everything that makes us look so screwed up is just darkness.

But add light and the darkness fades.

And if we walk in the light as He is in the light we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin. 1 John 1:7

Add light, and suddenly there is hope where there was none.

Add light, and suddenly there is victory.

And every time you ask and every time you tell, you shine light.

So I hope you’ll hear my heart when I ask you how you’re doing, and when I tell you that my kids are sometimes monsters and that my marriage isn’t perfect. Or if I tell you that every so often, despite a close walk with Christ, my feet slip and I need someone to pull me back into the light. Because friends, I want you to know that you are not alone and that there is hope in the grace of Jesus Christ. You won’t ever live life perfectly, but you can live life in perfect peace knowing you are a masterpiece and God is faithful to complete the work He started in you.

Go ahead and ask. Go ahead and tell. Maybe we can learn to walk in liberty, and maybe it will change our world.

My dear children, I write this to you so that you will not sin. But if anybody does sin, we have an advocate with the Father- Jesus Christ, the Righteous One.”

1 John 2:1

How can I pray for you this week?




Looking for a Christian community for Bible study and accountability? Check for a current study through 1 John.

2 thoughts on “Don’t Ask. Don’t Tell.

  1. Been following for a little while and appreciate and relate entirely to your words. This “don’t ask, don’t tell” is a profound one for me. Haha it made me come out if the quiet and post a lil somethin.. walking in faith is a battle some days with the confusion it can spring as much as it is a reward after surrendering to the only truth. Being truthful with genuine ears is helpful and encouraging. how do we grow of we don’t get real and be real always? love this. 🙂

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