Author Archives: SheLaughsBlog

About SheLaughsBlog

"...She Laughs without fear of the future" Proverbs 31:25

My Everyday Mom

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Well I have been missing for two weeks. If you haven’t realized that it is because you are among the billions of people who do not check this blog for weekly updates (Hi, I’m Shaena).

For those of you who’ve missed me, (Hi mom!), I’ve missed you too!

There is just something about the holidays that makes me want to do LESS and do it BETTER.

As a rule (self-imposed), I am not allowed to blog unless I can blog AND be nice to my kids and my husband… the busier I get, the harder that gets… so… anyway.

 A little grace for the holidays? For sanities sake and all.

 But before you go, I shared a little about my journey as a mom on Kelli and Vanessa today and I would love it if you’d swing over there and send me a virtual high five! I love the Everyday Mom segment and have gained wisdom and encouragement through sweet glimpses into the ordinary lives of extraordinary women. Anyway, somehow I snuck in so check it out. Here’s a snippet:

I never felt called to be a mom. Some friends of mine felt called. But I am pretty sure I just volunteered. 

Our (I’ll say “our” to include my husband because that is what married people do) first pregnancy ended in a painful miscarriage, forever knitting my heart to women who walk the lonely road of infertility and pregnancy loss. Our second pregnancy ended early, exposing us to the miracle of premature birth, a depth of gratitude for neonatologist, and the wonders of the NICU. Our third pregnancy ended with a return to the NICU, and a month of wondering if our child would be “normal”…whatever that is. 

I still never felt the call. 

Somewhere along the way, I guess I learned to embrace motherhood as a gift rather than a calling. A gift that challenges me to the very core of my being, and a gift that sometimes leads me to question my mental stability. A gift that, through it all, the good and the bad, is making my heart look a little more like Christ’s every day. (read the rest at kelliandvanessa.com)

 Love you all. May His Shiny face shine upon you while you love, serve, and give this Christmas season!

 Xoxo,

S

Let Us Be Women Who Love: A Poem by Idellette McVicker

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Hello Friends! Happy Thanksgiving! I am so grateful for you! You inspire and encourage me every week. I hope you have a wonderful holiday.

I wanted to share a magnificent poem with you. It is one of my favorite! I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

Let Us Be Women Who Love

Idelette McVicker

Let us be women who Love.

Let us be women willing to lay down our sword words, our sharp looks, our ignorant silence and towering stance and fill the earth with extravagant Love.

Let us be women who Love.

Let us be women who make room.

Let us be women who open our arms and invite others into an honest, spacious, glorious embrace.

Let us be women who carry each other.

Let us be women who give from what we have.

Let us be women who leap to do the difficult things, the unexpected things and the necessary things.

Let us be women who live for Peace.

Let us be women who breathe Hope.

Let us be women who Create beauty.

Let us be women who Love.

Let us be a sanctuary where God may dwell.

Let us be a garden for tender souls.

Let us be a table where others may feast on the goodness of God.

Let us be a womb of Life to grow.

Let us be women who love.

Let us rise to the question of our time.

Let us speak to the injustices in our world.

Let us move the mountains of fear and intimidation.

Let us shout down the walls that separate and divide.

Let us fill the earth with the fragrance of Love.

Let us be women who Love.

Let us listen for those who have been silenced.

Let us honor those who have been devalued.

Let us say, Enough! With abuse, abandonment, diminishing and hiding.

Let us not rest until every person is free and equal.

Let us be women who love. 

Let us be women who are savvy, smart, and wise.

Let us be women who shine with the light of God in us.

Let us be women who take courage and sing the song in our hearts.

Let us be women who say, Yes to the beautiful, unique purpose seeded in our souls.

Let us be women who call out the song in another’s heart.

Let us be women who teach our children to do the same.

Let us be women who Love.

Let us be women who Love, in spite of fear.

Let us be women who Love, in spite of our stories.

Let us be women who Love loudly, beautifully, Divinely.

Let us be women who Love.

 

Praying for you this week.

Xoxo,

S

Life Matters

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Yesterday I started writing this blog.

And then I deleted it.

And then I started writing it again.

And then I deleted it… again.

I deleted it because there was nothing funny about it. In fact, it is an unpleasant topic, that, like most people, I’d rather avoid completely.

I deleted it because there are women I know and love who are walking wounded, and it hurt my heart to think of reopening their wounds and causing any more pain. But maybe truth can be spoken in love. And instead of hurt, these words can set someone free.

So I started writing it a third time.

And you guessed it; I deleted it a third time.

And then I spent an hour reading stories that will haunt me for a really long time. Stories of botched abortions, partial birth, tiny little jaws, hearts, limbs.

Stories of horror.

Stories of shame.

Stories that, quite honestly, if I could go back and unread, I would.

And then I started writing… because PEOPLE MATTER.

They matter.

People aren’t accidents.

They aren’t mistakes.

They aren’t a consequence of sin or circumstance.

They matter.

They’ve always mattered.

They mattered when they were carefully woven together in their mother’s womb.

“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.”

Psalm 139:13

They mattered when they were made in the image of God.

“So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them” Gen 1:27

They mattered when there were created for a purpose and with a plan.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jer 29:11

People matter.

You matter.

I matter.

And so I started writing again, because how can I expect a DESPERATE WOMAN, who either believes she has no other options or is terrified by the options she has; how can I expect her to be BRAVE and TAKE A STAND, when I’m not even in her shoes and I am too afraid to say LIFE MATTERS… at every stage.

People matter.

There is hope.

Tuesday, November 19. The voters of Albuquerque, NM have an opportunity to vote FOR a ban on late term (post 20 week) abortions. Will you join me in praying for this historic day in our cities history? Maybe you’ll even be brave enough to publically declare that LIFE MATTERS.

To the walking wounded: You matter. You are fearfully and wonderfully made and NOTHING, no NOTHING, can separate you from the love of God. Come to Jesus, let Him bind your broken heart.

Praying for you. Xoxo,

Shaena

Say Wha???: On being misunderstood

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I could write a book on being misunderstood. I wont because it would mostly be a compilation of awkward moments caused by miscommunication and poor attention to detail. Stories like the time I bought a shirt that said 100% natural, which at the time I understood to mean organic. I.WORE.IT.A.LOT. I was proud to be slightly ahead of the “clean eating” trend. It wasn’t until I wore that shirt to a church camp, that a friend pulled me aside to tell me the “natural” that was written across my chest was not referring to my eating style… not exactly the statement I was intending to make.

Message Fail!

I sometimes think of that t-shirt and smile at how easy it is to be misunderstood. The message we are sending is not always the message people are receiving. And ya’ll, messages have been failing for thousands of years.

Remember when David wanted to show some love to new king Hanun? Oh you don’t?  Well you can read it here 1 Chronicles 19:1-21. Anyway, here is my super abbreviated version:

David wanted to show some love to the son of his old buddy, Hanun. Who had just become king btw (NBD). So he sent some men to express sympathy to Hanun concerning his late father. Unfortunately, that is not the message that was received. Hanun’s commanders convinced him that David actually sent his men to spy out the land and overthrow it. Poor David!! Some people are so misunderstood. And poor David’s men after Hanun freaks out, cuts off their beards and sends the men packing with their butts exposed… as if cutting their beards was not enough!!!! (I have no idea how new kings typically react… I have limited knowledge of royalty, but this seems like a great example of the wrong way to respond to bad news).  I wont spoil the rest of the story for you, but I will say that plenty of really bad things could have been avoided had it not been for this little miscommunication.

As women, we love to read deep into EVERYTHING. The clothing store clerk offers to grab us another size, and we are all up in arms offended they don’t think we are really a size 2. The barista, calls us ma’am and we are sternly explaining that, “we are not that old YOUNG MAN”. Our kids say they want a snack, and suddenly we are a bad mother… okay those are just me, but I really needed to get that off my chest. Thank you.

Back to us. Before we read too far into someone else’s intentions, (you know, like deciding the girl in the 100% natural shirt is a huge skanky skank, and not just a moron) lets commit to the ancient practice of… TALKING TO EACHOTHER.

Matthew puts it this way: “If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you” (18:15).

Has a simple misunderstanding caused a rift in one of your relationships? There is still time to make it right. Maybe you need to take the first step towards unraveling the miscommunication and salvaging the relationship.
Dear friend that encouraged me to retire my boobie brag shirt, you’re the bomb!

           

 Love you girls. Praying for you this week. 

xoxo,

S

What WILL you do today?

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Today I am going to go for a run.

It’s going to hurt.

BAD.

It’s going to hurt because it’s been a while since I’ve gone for a good run. Although I make it a point to wear running clothes at least once a week…

Today is the day.

I’m going to do it.

I’m going to silence that voice in my head that says I’ll never get back in shape and I’ve waited too long, and just run.

I may only make it around the block, but it’ll be further than I ran yesterday.

And I’ll have won.

I’ll have challenged that part of me that is always shouting CAN’T with WILL.

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Today, I will run!

 What will you do?

Don’t let the fear of pain or failure keep you from living victoriously today. Do something. Do anything. Just move. And then come back and tell me all about it ;0).

xoxo,

Shaena

Candy. Costumes. and Christians on Halloween

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Halloween is the worst.

I am the Ebenezer Scrooge of Halloween. Seriously, my least favorite time of year, just the thought gets me in a mood. Here are the top 3 reasons:

  1. Candy– Bleh, good enough for me, but I want better for my kids. Like, apples with sugar free caramel… or how about just apples.
  2. Costumes– I have to admit I am almost won over by the costumes. That is until some idiot shows up at the church carnival dressed as a scary clown; and I have to spend the rest of the night reassuring my 3 year old it was not real. Not cool.
  3. Christians– But honestly the real reason Halloween makes me moody is the great debate: “should Christians participate in Halloween?” Dun dun dun. This debate seems to get noisier every year. And the guilt from Christians who just want to let their kids be super hero’s and not shepherds can be heard around the country.

STOP IT

If you hate Halloween, if you feel a strong conviction that you should not participate in it, fine. Don’t participate. Round up your kids, make popcorn, turn off your porch light, and start your own tradition of watching family movies or whatever. Do nothing, fine. But trying to convince the world of wiles of candy and costumes is getting tired.

Please stop.

I know the back-story. Halloween get’s it’s roots from pagan traditions. So does the Christmas tree, btw. Today, Halloween is about costumes and candy. Neither of which, are inherently evil. Attempts to make it seem any more ghastly than any other secular holiday are misguided.

Christians who let their kids dress up and eat candy ARE NOT CELEBRATING DARKNESS. That idea is ridiculous and rooted in superstition.

Pagans are superstitious. Christians have the truth of God’s word. And the truth is, evil spirits are no more active on Halloween than they are on any other day of the year. In fact, any day is a good day for Satan to prowl like a roaring lion (1 Peter 5:8), but we know “greater is He that is in you than He that is in the world” (1 John 4:4).

As long as there is light in this world, darkness does not get a day of celebration. You don’t fight darkness by turning off your light but by shining brightly like a city on a hill.

Not sure how to do that on such a SPOOKY day? Here are a couple things I’ve seen done that are pretty stinkin’ awesome:

  • Hand out tracks with your candy. (Pray for the people who will come to your door, and give them Jesus when they do)
  • Carve pumpkins that tell the world Jesus lives. (I’ve seen crosses, Ichthus, hearts, and awesome phrases like “Grace is in this place” & “Jesus is alive”
  • Opt for a Halloween alternative at a local church. Invite friends to a safe and fun environment. These are seriously the best & most churches have some gospel sharing activity planned at these amazing community outreaches. If you don’t have one at your church and live in the Albuquerque/Santa Fe area, you are welcome to join me ;0).

Whatever you decide to do, or not do, remember that God made us all different. The Christian who responds to Halloween with a gospel-centered heart is no less spiritual that the one who takes this day as an opportunity to pray for the safety and spiritual well being of others. One body, many parts.

Now to finish “testing” the candy to make sure it is “safe” for the children… ;0)

Xoxo,

S

What do you do on Halloween? I’d love to hear your thoughts, reactions, and creative ideas here! Leave a comment!

Crazy. Awesome. LOVE.

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I’ve missed you friends! I wish I had an epic excuse for my absence but it really just boils down to being the worst blogger ever! But, I’m working on it… a little grace for the journey? ;0). Anyway, I am back, and there you are… let’s encourage each other shall we?
Last week, I was able to share some crazy awesome love with the women at SHE ministries. Together we uncovered the secret to pure joy… that is sort of a big deal for those of us who could use a little more joy in our lives. Err…um…ME… and probably you too.
The secret is this… LOVE EACH OTHER!
“As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I kept my Father’s commands and remain in His love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.”
John 15:9-12
I know, Your. Mind. Is. Blown. So was mine.
The bottom line is this; if we want to have more joy in our lives, we’ve got to figure this whole love thing out. I hope that you will enjoy this short devo and you will be encouraged to love each other with the crazy awesome love of God.
Praying for you friends. That your joy may be complete!
Xoxo,
S

Project Zoë

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When I was in Catholic school they taught me that if my arms are down at my side and the hem of my skirt was shorter than the tips of my fingertips, my skirt was too short.

Americas Next Top Model taught me that short and tight is the quickest way to look like a workin’ girl… and not the 9-5 kind.

Look, I didn’t grow up in the church. “Modest is the hottest” is not a phrase I heard until much too late to undo a few of my more serious fashion faux pas. Fortunately, social media was not as popular in those days (thank you Jesus). Also, my mom taught me it was not a good idea to WANT to look like a working girl, so there was that. Unfortunately, not everyone went to Catholic school, saw that episode of ANTM, or had my mom…

And. That’s. A. Real. Shame.

Because, like it or not, what we wear matters.

In fact, the way you dress can be the key or the killer to your success. And unfortunately for young girls everywhere, Hollywood usually sets a supper crappy example.

For that reason I am thrilled to tell you about Project Zoë. This boutique styled organization’s mission is to instill hope and self-confidence in “at-risk” women (ages 13-21) by teaching them how to dress for success! Ya’ll, these girls at Project Zoë aren’t just interested in changing the outward appearance; the organizations mission is “to build Christ-centered relationships”. Through appointment based style sessions, workshops, and special events, the PZ team is aiming straight for the heart of each and every girl they meet.  And they are not stopping there! The goal is to empower girls with the skills and tools necessary to get and keep a job! AND to challenge them to know and appreciate their true value.

In a world where a woman’s worth is significantly diminished every time she turns on the TV, it ought to get us fired up to see an organization encouraging and empowering girls to be the best versions of themselves.

If you live in the Albuquerque area you can contact Project Zoë by email: projectzoe517@gmail.com, or Facebook. They are currently accepting clothing and accessary items, as well as monetary donations. Here are a couple pics from their totally legit boutique:

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If you made it to the end of this blog would you do me a favor and pray for Project Zoë. Maybe you know a young girl who would benefit from a style session, heck… maybe you were that young girl once. PRAY, and ask God to move.

I’m so thankful for this beautiful vision to equip and empower young girls. I pray that more women would be moved to action. And I pray together we would change the world.

PS- Now for the question at least one of you asked herself… How do you get those cute lil dots above the ë? Option. U. E… you are welcome.

Have a blessed week friends.

Xoxo

S

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In the image of God, NOT mom

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My kids are so different!

 I often marvel in the fact that children raised in the same home, parented in the exact same way, can be as different as night and day?

And it’s not just that they are different from each other, they are different from me!!! Try as I sometimes do to shape my kids into perfect little replicas of my ideal self (you know, the one who prefers celery sticks to gummy bears), my kids still do things their own unique way.

And I was thinking…maybe that’s okay.

What if, as a parent, I worried less about teaching my kids “the right” way to do EVERYTHING, (as if I even have a clue what that is), and focused instead on the REASON to do things.

What if I encouraged them to solve problems, think creatively, and value that THEY are made in the image of God and NOT in the image of Mom!

Things might take a little longer, but it could be fun to see what solutions they come up with.

We are all different. Made uniquely and distinctly in the image of God, and EVERYONE in our family has something unique to offer. Even our kids!

Is it scary to think your kids might possess skills and abilities that you may not have?

“A godly leader has the humility to allow his kids to shine and doesn’t have to be the resident expert.” Parenting By Design

 For just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. Romans

12:4-5

Question: How do you encourage your children to be who God created them to be?

Don’t Ask. Don’t Tell.

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“God is light; in Him there is no darkness at all.”

I’ve been a coward.

My college friends and I would often ask each other questions like, “how’s your walk”, or “what’s God teaching you”. I guess it was a little awkward, but it was a way for us to hold each other accountable and to walk in close community with each other and with the Lord.

I don’t really ask questions like that anymore.

It’s not you, it’s me… but it’s really you too.

I guess because once my grown-up pants started to fit, I realized people are super screwed up. And what’s more, I realized that sometimes I’m kind of screwed up too. And the more screwed up I found people were, the more screwed up I realized I was.

And. It. Freaked. Me. Out.

So I answered a cowards call and just stopped asking. And once there’s an unspoken agreement that no one will ask, no one had to tell. And it was easy.

But it was wrong.

If no one asks, and no one tells, we just stay screwed up & that is a tragedy! Because Jesus Christ came to set us free!

And I wish I could tell you each in person, but honestly words don’t always flow as easy to my lips as they do to my fingertips. So I’m writing it down. I hope it encourages bravery in you; and inspires you to ask and to tell as often and freely as you have opportunity. And to walk in the freedom that God’s light brings.

Dear friends,

I know we had an agreement that I would never ask about your sin and I would never tell you that you are not alone.

Don’t ask. Don’t tell.

But I was wrong.

I should have asked.

More than that, I should have come alongside you. Because I knew how screwed up you were, but I was afraid. I was afraid because,  if I asked I’d also have to acknowledge that I was screwed up too. And that was something I wasn’t ready to do.

Don’t ask. Don’t tell.

Instead the broken just stayed broken and the wounded just bled out. And we called ourselves survivors but we were cowards.

Don’t ask. Don’t tell.

But I should have asked. And I should have told you that you were not alone; that we all screw up sometimes. And just because the wickedness in our hearts manifest itself in different ways doesn’t mean I can’t relate. Because at the root of everything that makes us look so screwed up is just darkness.

But add light and the darkness fades.

And if we walk in the light as He is in the light we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin. 1 John 1:7

Add light, and suddenly there is hope where there was none.

Add light, and suddenly there is victory.

And every time you ask and every time you tell, you shine light.

So I hope you’ll hear my heart when I ask you how you’re doing, and when I tell you that my kids are sometimes monsters and that my marriage isn’t perfect. Or if I tell you that every so often, despite a close walk with Christ, my feet slip and I need someone to pull me back into the light. Because friends, I want you to know that you are not alone and that there is hope in the grace of Jesus Christ. You won’t ever live life perfectly, but you can live life in perfect peace knowing you are a masterpiece and God is faithful to complete the work He started in you.

Go ahead and ask. Go ahead and tell. Maybe we can learn to walk in liberty, and maybe it will change our world.

“My dear children, I write this to you so that you will not sin. But if anybody does sin, we have an advocate with the Father- Jesus Christ, the Righteous One.”

1 John 2:1

How can I pray for you this week?

Xoxo.

Love,

Shaena

Looking for a Christian community for Bible study and accountability? Check out.sheabq.org for a current study through 1 John.