My daughter is driving me crazy.
(Disclaimer: I can say that, because I am her mom. If anyone else ever says she is anything less than freaking awesome, I’ll be doing prison ministry from the inside.)
She is driving me crazy.
Not angry…Like certifiably nuts!!!
One minute, I want to run and hide from her until she is five. Surely by five, she’ll have learned to use her words and not just scream her face off.
The next minute I am just in awe of her beautiful, spunky, adventurous self.
Elly see’s life through Crayola-colored glasses in a land where outside of the lines is exactly where beauty is meant to be. She’s fearless, fun, and confident in who she his. She is just the kind of little person part of me wishes I could be.
She has captured my heart in the most complicated ways!
And, to be honest, this roller coaster ride through toddlerville is stinkin’ exhausting!!!
I know I am supposed to be enjoying every second of being her mom, because tomorrow she’ll be getting married and I’ll long for all the extra excitement of the preschool years.
BUT… here is the thing,…I can’t think of tomorrow.
I can’t think past today… or even right now… and right now is hard.
I am not looking for well meaning parenting advice. I am in no position to hear it anyway. I would likely just smile and thank you, all the while fantasizing about punching you in the eye. You can try me again tomorrow. I am usually kinder tomorrow… you decide if that is a risk you are willing to take… I already told you I was crazy.
I also know my daughter might see this some day. And that in seeing this, she will know that she brought me more joy than I ever thought possible; but she was also my greatest challenge.
I hope she does see it.
In fact, I might print out a copy for her and hang it in her bedroom to remind her that mommy spent more than a few afternoons huddled in the corner doubtful I would make it through the day… but we always do.
Why would I want her to know that? Because I AM IN CRAZY MOMMA MODE that’s why!!!!
No… that’s a lie… half-truth.
I also want her to know because some day, if God wills, she might want to be a mommy! And she might have a baby who makes her question her parenting abilities… or even her mental stability. And I want her know that toddler mom me is rocking back and forth, biting her nails, and humming “Put on a Happy Face”.
I want her to know that I’ve been there.
And, I want her to know how God shows up every day and faithfully carries our family from one crazy, fun filled/nail biting/ sanity bending day to the next.
On the days I scream and holler, and then weep bitterly in my room ashamed of my behavior, His love covers me (1 Peter 4:8).
Then a week later, when…er, um… I do it again, His grace comforts me (Romans 8:1).
On the days when I swear one more game of hide and seek will literally kill me, He gives me strength (Isaiah 40:29).
And on the lonely days, and yep there are lonely days even in a house full of precious laughter, He is a friend (John 15:13-14).
On the days when tears fall freely from both our cheeks, He catches our tears in a bottle (Psalm 56:8) and brings a peace that surpasses understanding (Phil 4:7).
On days when I don’t know what the heck I am doing, He guides me with wisdom and understanding, and I am blessed (Prov 3:13).
When fear creeps in, His love drives it right out. (1 John 4:18).
And on the days, and there are so many, when my heart feels like it will explode with joy and thankfulness for the gift of motherhood, He is here for that too (Psalm 16:9, 11).
But most of all, I want her know that He’ll be there for her. In the very moment she’ll need Him, He will show up. He will be there for her and give rest and encouragement just when she needs it.
Just like today.
And He’ll be there for you also.
“My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest” Ex:33:14
To the mom’s who are hanging on by a thread, can I just be your friend? And as a friend, can I just tell you, you got this girl!
Our kids drive us crazy because we are crazy about them!!
And God is crazy about you!
He loves you so much He sent a Savior to die for you! And as if that wasn’t cool enough, that same power that raised Christ from the dead is living inside of you!! Tap into it daily, and you wont just be a good mom, you’ll be like super-mom…Jesus-momma! DANG!!
Now, if you’ll excuse me. I have a tea party to attend…
NOT A MOM???? The treasures of Jesus apply to every challenge you face, in every season of life. Take the Truth of God’s word and let it speak to the things that make you feel a little unglued. Tell us about them, I’d love to hear your story.
Praying for you this week. That you will find joy and rest in His presence.